Itchy

[Itchy]

You wanna bet on that? Because I will totally get you to let me fuck you if there's $20 on the line. I mean, free money, and breaking you in! It's win/win for both of us!

[Itchy]

Well I guess it's kind of win/lose because you'll be out $20. But you'll be well fucked, and nobody in the city will put out for that cheap. And believe me, I know all the going rates on the best hookers.

[Doze [2]]

All Doze can do is stare at him. Itchy’s statement came from so far out of left field, that his mind is taking a moment to catch up.

You can’t…possibly be serious…

Doze is used to Itchy saying ludicrous things. Used to him being a show off, jackass, rude, and inconsiderate as all get out. He is not used to the other man propositioning him. This is just ridiculous.

Itchy…I don’t know what opiates you’ve…been taking…but, I think you’re a little…too out of yourself to continue this…conversation. Do you even…remember who you’re talking to…right now?

Itchy certainly appears sober, but it wouldn’t be too hard for him to fake it, Doze supposed. He’d had an incredible amount of practice, after all. He snapped his fingers, slowly, in the direction of the other man’s face.

It’s…Doze…remember? Short,…fat Doze…not whoever you’re…imagining. Thank you…

[Itchy]

What, you think I wouldn't fuck you? I'd totally fuck you. Sure, you're dumpy as fuck, whatever, but have you seen your ass? 'cause you should see yourself filling out a pair of pants, and I emphasize the 'fill' part.

[Doze [2]]

Oh, God. He knew who he was talking to.
He. Knew. Who. He. Was. Talking. To.

Itchy?...You've quite officially...breached my...discomfort levels...I'll see you...later, okay?

You turn about in an attempt to make a somewhat speedy getaway.

[Itchy]

Lemme know when you want me to breach something else of yours!

[Doze [2]]

I can let you know...that this would be a...rather cold day in...Hell, Itchy. Don't you have...other things to...be attending to...the needs of?

[Guest]

Hey itchy ever tell all the girls where you got your namesake

[Itchy]

Nah, they figure it out when the docs hand back their STD checks!

[Guest]

well at least you're not deeply ashamed of your STD menagerie